i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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