I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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