your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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