this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize