I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize