Yo dont text me then not text me
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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