So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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