if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
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Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
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i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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