That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
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From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
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well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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