Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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