So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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