imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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