Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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