Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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