new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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