after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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