i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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