you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize