From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
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I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
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I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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