curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize