This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
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Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
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Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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