All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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