Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
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what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize