Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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