Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize