Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
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we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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