Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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