The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Randomize