i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize