all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize