When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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