If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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