But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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