Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
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