I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize