Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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