I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
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