they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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