Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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