Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize