yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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