If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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