It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
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You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
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Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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