I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I understand Curling. That high.
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He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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