Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
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I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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