wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
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you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
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just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize