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dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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