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maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
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