HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
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Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
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On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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