i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
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You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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